Although it's 30 years since my first born son died, I miss him just as much today. This feeling does not diminish with time. Even though I now have 3 grown up sons and look forward to the birth of grandchildren,part of me went away with Luke all those years ago and it has never returned. The children I eventually had were born only after many other pregnancy losses during the early months and there were many times I came very close to giving up on life. But the three healthy sons I eventually gave birth to are a miracle which saved me from despair and bring me such joy. I have no particular faith, but sometimes in bed at night, I swear I feel a tiny hand take mine and I know my baby who never grew up is somehow still with me. I'm sure that somehow, because of our love for them, our children never really leave us.
deborah
9th April 2010